Oh the Shame

So I'm reading Twilight as part of a book club and just to see what all the fuss was about. Never in my days have I ever read a book with such shame. Hiding it under my arm as I go to lunch, putting my water bottle in front of it while I'm reading at the table, the lengths I've gone to in order to hide what I'm reading are astounding. I even considered paper-bag covering it a la 5th grade but no one really gives paper bags anymore since we've all gone "green" and take in our reusable bags. 

What's worse is that I know they won't be having "the sex" in this book. Apparently if they do, Bella will die or become a vampire or realize she's with a moody douche, leave him and go get a spray tan or something. Halfway into it I remembered that it was written by a Mormon woman and aimed at 13 year old girls. This explained the plot and led me to the realization that when I finish this book I'll be left with literary blue balls. You teased me enough to keep me interested for nearly 500 pages but aren't going to give me the big finish.