Squirrel Hari-Kari

So I'm speeding down the back roads singing along to Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" when two squirrels jump in front of my car and I have no room to swerve and avoid them. I guess they felt so strongly that Beyoncé deserved the award that they were willing to die for their cause. 

Now if only Kanye had had the balls to do the same thing. 

Some People Just Aren't That Bright

So I'm at the Starbucks drive-thru after having ordered and paid for my drink when the barista asks me, "Do you like coffee?"

Bitch, I'm here ain't I?

What had happa?

Shortly, I will tell you what had happa.